You Don’t Like Your Lips Licked?!
This is a unisex blog, this isn’t a how-to more so an explanation or reasoning perhaps.
My first encounter with having oral sex performed on was on my 13th birthday by the 18 year old boy who was my babysitter when I insisted on playing basketball on the courts a few blocks from my house. On that day, I was so excited to finally be a teen that I wore my money clip proudly. I had B cup boobs, I had long track legs and a mean June tan. I walked to the courts hoping to get more money and bumped into Andre*. The conversation wasn’t slick at all and I was completely clueless as to what I was saying yes to:
Andre: You turned 13 today right?
Andre: You ever been ate out?
Me: o_O what’s that?
Andre: Come with me real quick
and there you have it, in my innocent mind I thought he was asking me to dinner or lunch but never did I imagine he meant oral sex. I couldn’t process how pervy I was about to become because of this day. He only did that to me and we never did that again, how fucking evil right?! Now I was obsessed with that feeling!
Today, at the age of 26, I meet many women who not only request that their partner doesn’t do it but when it’s done they hate it. My cousin is one of those women. When she first told me about how she gets nervous when her boyfriends head goes between her thighs and the odd feeling she has I immediately thought “she’s self conscious”.
After my first oral encounter I didn’t have any kind of sex again with a guy until college. The first time a guy went down on me, as an adult, I did have this fear and I really didn’t know why. I was clean, in every meaning of the word, I didn’t have an odor but I had this nagging thought of what if. What if I didn’t taste right? what if my natural body chemistry smells like the 5th ring of hell? what if I have a hair bump from my first attempt at shaving? what if? what if? what if? I didn’t enjoy it that night, I couldn’t orgasm and I wanted nothing more than for him to just fuck me and leave my love ocean the hell alone. I psyched myself out of nut that night.
After that night I looked up all the best of everything for vaginal care. I know some of you are giggling but the fact of the matter is a lot of women are still using Lever 2000 to wash your vagina and at 18 I was right there with you. I found out about proper vaginal hygiene and care because nothing is worse than having a willing tongue, a wet lady pool and negative self-taunting thoughts running off your pleasure. I learned all about Lemisol and Summers Eve, I didn’t eat certain foods when I knew my suitor had an appetite and I began waxing. I stopped myself mentally from fucking up my physical/sexual greatness.
Women are thinkers, we over think and then think about why we think so much. Although brain productivity is encouraged in my world, we need to learn how to shut it down. I have so many women who ask me why they can’t enjoy it and the answer is simple. You won’t allow yourself to enjoy it.
If you really want to experience it fully, be honest about what worries you about it. Are you concerned about your natural smell and taste?
Are you concerned with how your vagina looks?
Are your concerns not physical but a control issue? having oral sex performed on you makes you feel extremely vulnerable, your legs are wide open, your partner can make you cry (if they’re any good) with the flick of the tongue.
I know these questions seem juvenile in theory but I’m a woman and although many will not admit it, these are questions we’ve seriously inwardly asked ourselves. My reason for asking my female audience is because once you address your issues, concerns, questions is the moment you can start removing that shield, relax and enjoy yourself. You can see that vaginas all look different, some lips are small and some are big, you will learn how your diet can control your bodily odor and taste, you will learn the best products to use for cleaning your lady of love.
Once I realized my concerns were things that weren’t a problem but a mental nagger, I went out and resolved each issue. So the next time he offered his tongue as a spoon, I gleefully accepted multiple times that night.
The day I discovered my vagina and its magical button
Masturbation has always been apart of my life. At first I thought it became official at 15 but upon further review of my life I remember the exact moment I rubbed my legs together in hopes of that feeling returning.
I was 7 years old and still living in Rio with my family. My mother was in nursing school and my father ran an English workshop so I stayed with my grandmother most of the time. My mom had three brothers, all were thugs by brazilian standards so the second level of my grandmothers home was almost a brothel. They had women that they “managed” and customers came and went. My grandmother completely ignored what was going on, she thought they sold car parts to makeshift mechanics.
One day my uncles were gone and one of the girls were in the second house with a customer, I remember saying it was okay to walk in because she was one of my favorites. I could lie and say she was braiding my hair if my mother came home early. I wasn’t allowed up those stairs, around the women, around my uncles and for damn sure not the clients so I had to prepare my lie in advance just in case. Barbara saw me outside of the window and told me to come in and watch the house until she returned from the market. Her client was sleep in a bedroom and she had a a rottweiler there in case I needed protection.
Barbara leaves me there and I begin to wander, this place was like the red curtain to me! I was never allowed there but I heard all the music, smelled the food cooking, the women laughing and they were all so gorgeous! I felt my family was keeping me from greatness so I made sure to make this once in a lifetime trip count (a trip up the stairs mind you). I remember hearing moaning while going through the beers in the fridge, loud moaning. I assumed it was the customer but when I walked to the door he was drunk out of his mind snoring, the moaning was on the television.
I saw a circle of women, all different shades of brown with beautiful, black shiny hair. All of them were completely naked and they were sitting on the floor in the shape of a circle. This is how I KNOW sexuality is natural and instinctive because I was anticipating what was next and so did down there. The women eventually laid down in this circle so that everyone was performing oral on everyone..it was like a pussy buffet! I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think all I knew was it now had a heartbeat. The scene was short and left me with blue clit, I left the second house and skipped my horny ass down to my house and went to my room. The heartbeat was still there but not as strong so I kept replaying it in my head while sitting on my horizontal bedpost. It had ridges, great massaging ridges and it was there I believe I first came from clit stimulation. After that day I sat on that damn bedpost hourly, so much my mother made me stay out of my room until bed because I wouldn’t come out. I had a relationship with that damn bedpost!
I had one other situation prior to that but my body wasn’t aware, but I know that at 7 my love button had a pulse and dammit it was alive!
Personal File Cabinet: I loved tasting her.
She was 5’4 and 130lbs. We were in the same classes and interested in the same major so our bond was easily formed. She was from Memphis, Tennessee and was beyond beautiful. I knew she was bi-sexual but she was tormented, as I was at the time. Her friends knew but her father was military and my family was strict catholic. Although we both liked women sexually we avoided having sex, we loved our friendship..until the night before finals.
Let’s call her Nicole..
Nicole came over to my apartment to start our studying session, she was cramming for biology and I had a child psychology final to ace. The night goes normal, we order takeout and return back to the apartment to finish the last haul of studying for the night. Around 3am we close our books and pop in a movie to relax to while drinking margaritas.
The t.v. is on but we are so comfortable with one another we are fine just laying on the couch talking and laughing. The subject of sex comes up and Nicole tenses up a bit, she’s still a bit shy with herself. She laughs as I talk about my ex and how bad the sex was and contributes her own bad sex stories.
Some kind of way she ends up with her head in my lap, and she begins to ask if I am seeing a common friend. I know who she is speaking of but I hesitate to answer because I hear jealousy in her voice. My way of avoiding an awkward moment was to make a joke, by the time I form my mouth to say the joke Nicole is sitting up and now sitting on top of me in a riding position. It’s pretty obvious where this is going so I let her do as she pleases.
She takes off her tank top and shows her 34DD on her small frame, she’s trying her damnedest to take control of me but it’s outside of her character. So I let her finish undressing and lay her on her back. For some reason, I have a bad ass oral fixation. I get so wet while pleasing, it’s something about knowing I can control you. So I kiss her starting from her ears to her lips down to her neck. I’m using my fingers to warm her pussy up and get her ready for me. I feel how wet she is and it sends me into overdrive. I suck and lick around her nipples and lick my way down her stomach while pulling her jeans down. Kissing around her hips I notice she has a clit ring, she’s waxed and she’s pretty and pink ;)
My tongue is just beginning to dance around her clit and she’s already created a wet spot on my couch. I open her legs up as wide as I needed them to do as I wanted with her. She had a bland taste which was great! shit was like water. I opened her lips with my tongue and slid inside while rubbing her clit in a circular motion. The more she squirmed, the harder I sucked, the more I gently pulled on her lips and teased her clit ring. I kept hearing her say she was about to cum but I had no idea she was a squirter, in fact she was my first. It caught me off guard at first but it still tasted like her so I simple used my tongue to calm her down..licking slowly to clean up the mess she had made.
15 minutes later I was sitting on her face for my turn.
I aced my exam the next day, and we met up again that night.
I am sensual and very physical. I’m very erotic. But my sexuality exists on a sort of a fantasy level.
I love your blog by the way!!
And I think you can help me answer my question and hopefully solve this poor dilemma!
What you would recommend to help me find my unicorn? I’m 28 and have never met her!
Thank you sweety! I will answer this in the way I usually talk to myself so I hope you can follow me.
Clit stimulation is the quickest way and the most effective way women climax. The clit has between 6,000-8,000 nerves in it so any repetitive stimulation rather it be from licking, sucking, nibbling, rubbing, vibrations will eventually result in finding your unicorn. Now the biggest O will come from your g-spot, that is the convulsion orgasm button, but the clit gets the job done and done well.
I would suggest purchasing a clitoral vibrator, read the reviews to see how good the vibrations are on the toys that interest you. To add some extra umph, pick up a clit arousal gel. Allow your body to relax before doing it, don’t focus so much on having a release. Think of that one person, that one position, that one kinky thought you always have but ignore and focus the toy on your clit. Increase speed as your sensitivity increases and contract your kegels. Simply closing your legs will add a more intense feeling.
And if you have a boyfriend
SIT ON HIS FACE.